Dear Readers: Today we will kick off our new “Series by Topic” format by digging into the subject of dating with a mental health disorder. As previously mentioned in last week’s release, statistics show that about one in four people suffer from a diagnosable mental health condition in a given year. With depression and anxiety related disorders being especially common, it is no longer inappropriate to assume that everyone reading this post either has a diagnosable mental health disorder or knows someone who does. Nevertheless, the stigma associated with mental illness is still alive and well, and so attempting to enter the world of dating as someone who struggles with mental health can feel discouraging and daunting. To those in this position, below is my first suggestion.
No. 1: Consider Forming Friendships First and Take Care of Yourself
When lonely and hungry for connection, it can be tempting to rush into relationships and engage in both emotional and physical intimacy too quickly and too soon. Society and popular culture lead us to believe that finding love should happen instantaneously, with sparks flying from the get-go and a picture-perfect romance blossoming from the beginning. This, however, is not usually the way in which some of the most fulfilling and long-lasting relationships get their start.
Often, it is in the process of getting to know each other that two people fall in love and kindle a connection that might not feel like fireworks at first, but that is vibrant and unique, nonetheless.
As a result, if you are worried about what a potential romantic partner might think of you because of the mental health challenges you face, try to form a friendship with the individual you are interested in first. By simply aiming to become acquainted and familiar with someone, you provide that person with the opportunity to get to know you as you are in your daily life. Eventually, they may come to find that you suffer from anxiety, for example, but they are just as likely to discover that your anxiety doesn’t define who you are or detract from everything else you have to offer.
Gradually, you can begin to drop hints to the person you have been getting to know that your interest in them surpasses friendship, and the way in which they respond should provide some indication as to whether a potential romantic relationship between the two of you might be viable. Bear in mind, however, that even if befriending the people you are interested in does not result in a romantic relationship, the experience of getting to know people and introducing yourself to them is good preparation for future dating experiences.
Lastly, do not neglect the importance of continuing to take care of yourself as you tiptoe into the dating scene. Forming new relationships of any kind opens the doors to fresh emotional experiences, and while most of these experiences are likely to be exciting, constantly navigating new territory can be exhausting at times. That said, be sure to prioritize self-restoration and rejuvenation above all else so that you can continue to put your best self out into the world.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
