DR. WALLACE: I’m a 16-year-old girl and I just had my first kiss, but it was not good at all and now I regret it. It’s because the boy who kissed me then told all his friends that we “made out” and that it was awesome from his point of view.
Now I’m beyond embarrassed, so is there anything I can do to minimize this situation and how it makes me feel? I wish I could transfer to another school right away. Even my girlfriends agree with me that this guy is a dope for talking about our private time together. Help! — Bad First Kiss, via email
BAD FIRST KISS: Ignore what people say and learn from your experience. If and when you next elect to kiss a different boy, take a minute to speak with him before you go home and look him in the eyes and ask him to keep your kiss private and not to speak to anyone about it. This way you’ll maximize the chances that you’ll be on the short end of another kiss-and-tell story.
And as for the first boy, when you next see him simply tell him you hope he really enjoyed the kiss since it’s the last one he’ll ever have with you!
SHE’S SO IMPATIENT!
DR. WALLACE: I’m a sophomore in high school and one of my best friends sends me literally dozens and dozens of text messages all throughout the school day. Of course, she sends me even more over the weekend!
She’s a great friend and we have a good relationship, but what’s strange is that she will get upset if I don’t reply to each one of her texts within a few minutes. Normally, if I have time I reply right away, but other times I don’t want to be rude to people I’m talking with, so I only check my phone once I end an in-person conversation. Is her behavior weird or normal? I worry because I can’t reply quickly all the time.
What can I say to my friend so she doesn’t get mad at me for not responding to her text messages in the time frame she expects? — Sometimes I’m Busy, via email
SOMETIMES I’M BUSY: You need to set some ground rules and parameters with your friend! She needs to understand and respect that you can’t respond quickly to all her texts, all the time.
You are not to blame here. Her expectations of you are unreasonable. Of course, you still want to maintain and enjoy the friendship you have with her, so reassure her in person the next time you see her that she’s important to you and that you truly enjoy her friendship. But also be certain to explain to her why you can’t, and won’t, reply immediately every time she hits “send.”
Do tell her that you’ll always reply to her, but sometimes it will take time to do so. A good friend will not only understand this, but also respect and value your time as much as she values hers.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
