Q: My husband and I worked at the same company but in different departments. He lost his job as a section head when a company merger occurred, but I retained mine. He has gotten interviews for lesser jobs, but nothing equal or similar to the level of the position he held. Colleagues have been coming up to me and saying how sorry they were that he lost his job, but some of them have also asked if I was going to divorce him. I was surprised at this, so I asked why I would do that. Some of them responded with, “Don’t you know?” When I asked further questions, I was told he was fired for his behavior and not because of the merger. He was involved with a young single woman who worked for him, and the merger made it a convenient time for him to be let go. I never knew anything about it, so I told him what I had heard and asked him. He insisted there was nothing between the girl and him, but said she did come to his office every day just to talk, usually for about 30 minutes. He is a chatty person and not very clever, so I believe him. But if employees at the company thought he was having an affair, I’m afraid they might have spread that rumor, which then became known to everyone. Could that be the reason he lost his job and may be having a hard time getting another one?
A: Many don’t realize that appearance is as important as reality. Politicians are aware of it, but office politics are no different. Think about this. If you worked in a department and saw a young, single female employee visiting a male executive’s office daily, you would probably think there was some sort of relationship in play. Even if they never closed the door (and you won’t know if the door was ever closed). The closeness of the two of them would have easily been noticed by employees near his office. They might also have noticed she left her office for extended periods of time every day. Your co-workers might have asked about it, but you also don’t know what she said to her co-workers. Maybe she liked him. Maybe she had a crush on him and wanted a relationship with him. Or maybe she simply liked talking to him and saw him as a personal guide or friend. You will never know, despite what your husband’s perspective is.
It sounds like your co-workers’ explanations might be the reason your husband was let go. Whatever news they were spreading surely could have traveled to the human resources department. The fact that he was spending a lot of time in his office with a particular employee during work hours, combined with the facts that she is young and single and he is married, doesn’t look good. All the time that each of them spent talking to each other, whether it was a personal affair, a loose friendship or even some father-and-daughter type of need on both their parts, meant time spent not working at work. That time spent on personal conversations could have deeply annoyed co-workers who would like extra time off during their day for personal conversations but are more conscientious about working. Your husband was lucky the merger took place when it did. HR may have had many complaints about the two spending inordinate amounts of time in your husband’s office, and HR chose an easier reason for letting him go. It would have been more harmful to him had he been let go for unprofessional behavior as a manager.
As for his difficulty getting positions at the same level, there are numerous possible reasons. Rumors as to an affair have been known to spread within an industry, but if he had excelled in his position, an affair would not have held him back from advancing. If you believe in him, be his emotional support and guide his job search. He also may need to meet with a career coach for a resume rewrite and cover letter guidance to find the jobs that suit his experience.
Email career and life coach: [email protected] Ms. Novak responds to all emails. For more information, visit www.lindseynovak.com and for past columns, see www.creators.com/features/At-Work-Lindsey-Novak.
