Dear Annie: My husband recently had a heart attack. While the paramedics worked over him, I was shocked by my reaction. I hoped he would die.
For the last 30 years, I have begged, threatened, bribed and cried to him to show me some physical affection. He always says he’ll change but has never once kept his promise. When he finally decides to make love, his approach is so unenthusiastic, it makes me ashamed.
I have asked him if he is gay, and he says no. He has never cheated on me, as far as I know. Our day-to-day existence (we are both retired) is depressing. I am attractive, slim and energetic, and our home is a showplace due to my construction, design and organizational abilities. Our children are successful, well-adjusted adults who love our family life. Our assets are too considerable to divorce.
How shall I live the rest of my life? I no longer want to provide amenities to this man when he gives nothing in return. — Unloved and Fed Up
Dear Unloved: Some people, often men, are simply not demonstrative. They were not shown affection as children and, consequently, don’t know how to show it to others. This doesn’t mean he has no feelings for you. After 30 years, he probably would be devastated if you left him.
Have you had any couples counseling? You shouldn’t have to spend the rest of your life resentful that you could have done better. There is still time to make improvements. Otherwise, consider spending some of that pent-up affection doing volunteer work at your local hospital. They could use you.
Dear Annie: I am a young mother of four with a disabled husband. I work two jobs. We recently moved into a house with a lower rent. However, we are in a neighborhood of old biddies with nothing better to do than tell us how to live.
I know our backyard is a mess and our car is a pile of garbage. I am aware that sometimes our grass gets long. Yes, my kids can be loud. I’m sorry my dog got out of the yard. I try to be the perfect neighbor, but I’m on overload.
We have been harassed repeatedly by two neighbors who want us to tend to business more promptly. I’m always polite, but my husband wants to tell them where to stick their complaints. Is there a delicate way to handle this situation without upsetting our neighbors more? — Bad Neighbor
Dear Neighbor: Your rental agreement may include something about keeping the lawn neat, and your city may have restrictions about the dog. However, we cannot imagine it’s anyone’s business what kind of car you drive. Tell the neighbors, “Thank you for your interest. We’ll get to it as soon as we can.” Repeat as needed.
Dear Annie: I am at the end of my rope with a medical problem. I am 42 and have been hearing-impaired since birth. I also have tinnitus, or ringing in the ears. For the past 15 years, I’ve noticed that every time I eat something containing citric acid, I come down with a bad spell of vertigo a day or two later. I wake up with ringing in my ears, dizziness and nausea. I also throw up a lot. It can be an orange, lemon juice or any processed food with citric acid used as a preservative. Lately, I find that tomato sauce also gives me vertigo.
I have seen a dozen doctors, including otolaryngologists, but not one has heard of this. Meniere’s disease, diabetes and an allergy to citric acid have been ruled out. Two doctors said it might be stress induced, but I don’t see it.
I’m hoping if you print this, it will generate a response from someone with answers. — Dizzy in New York
Dear Dizzy: All we know is that citric acid is often used in homeopathic remedies for vertigo, which doesn’t help you one bit. If any of our readers have information that proves interesting, we will let you know.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
