Dear Annie: I am a 15-year-old girl. Last weekend, I went on my third date with my boyfriend, “Shawn,” also 15. When the movie ended, Shawn kissed me, and the next thing I knew, he was sticking his tongue in my mouth. I got scared and immediately pulled back. Shawn apologized, but a few minutes later, he kissed me again, and although I kept my mouth shut, I could feel his tongue against my lips.
This is not the first time Shawn has kissed me, but he has never tried to make out with me before or done anything to make me upset. Shawn is my very first boyfriend, but he has had many girlfriends before me.
I now feel extremely pressured to make out with him — something I’m not sure I want to do. And I’m afraid that if I do start making out with Shawn, he’ll want to do more intimate things. I have no idea what to do. Please help me. — Rachel
Dear Rachel: Shawn has more experience than you, and apparently, he’d like to show you everything he’s learned. Since you’re not ready for that (and good for you that you’re not), you need to make it clear to Shawn. Don’t be afraid to tell him “no.”
If Shawn cares about you, he will back off to where you are comfortable. You are smart enough to know that if he pressures you, it means his interest is mostly physical, and you don’t need any boyfriend who puts his own needs above yours.
Dear Annie: I’ve been friends with “Cindy” for 25 years. Two years ago, we became friends with “Alice,” and recently, Cindy told her all about my abusive marriage, my deeply troubled daughter and numerous other very personal things. I also discovered that she’s given this information to several other acquaintances.
I have always considered Cindy to be like a sister. When I asked her to please stop telling people about my personal life, she became angry and has not spoken to me since. I do miss our friendship, but I don’t know if it can be saved. What do you say? — No Name but Deeply Hurt
Dear No Name: Cindy has a big mouth, and she owes you an apology. If you want to salvage the friendship (and we’re not sure it’s worth it), call and tell her you’d like to put this behind you. However, we caution you not to give Cindy any more personal information, because you can be absolutely certain everyone in town will hear about it.
Dear Annie: With a heavy heart, I read the letter from “A.T. in CT,” who was upset that people did not acknowledge the loss of her baby at 21 weeks’ gestation, and then those same people sent her announcements of their own joyous events.
First, I would like to clarify one thing — 21 weeks’ gestation is not a miscarriage. It is considered a stillbirth. Our daughter was stillborn at 27 weeks, and it was the most painful event I have ever experienced.
This woman should tell those with new babies, “Congratulations, but I am not emotionally ready to deal with your new arrival.” She should be honest and firm. It took several months after the loss of my daughter before I was able to look at another baby without feeling angry and resentful. This woman needs to give herself time.
Also, please tell her there are many wonderful support groups that deal with prenatal infant loss. Her hospital may have information on local support groups, or she can contact www.MissFoundation.org. I send my prayers to her and to all of us who wish upon a star for our baby to come home. — Forever Sarah’s Grieving Mom
Dear Sarah’s Mom: Many readers wrote to offer words of solace and also mentioned SHARE (www.nationalshareoffice.com) and Resolve (www.resolve.org) as sources of support and information. Our thanks to all who offered words of encouragement and sympathy.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
