DR. WALLACE: I’m 13 years old and I know I’m somewhat overweight for my age and height.
I know this to be true, so I don’t understand why my mom doesn’t try to help me out a bit with my situation. My mom thinks that no one makes fun of me because there are several other kids who have a body type like mine. There might be one or two at my whole school, but honestly, there are not many that are as big as I am right now.
Since I’m so heavy, I don’t go to our local public pool because kids tease me there and say if I jump off the diving board the water will all come out of the pool from the cannonball splash! They also say if I get in a boat it will sink.
These kinds of comments hurt my feelings. I feel it’s important for me to try to lose some weight. I’m trying to understand why my mom doesn’t understand how big I am and that we should work together to do something about it. My mom thinks I’m fine the way I am. Does my mom need therapy or something? The way she acts about this makes me think she’s in denial. What can I do to improve myself and also improve my currently poor body image? — Want To Lose Weight, via email
WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT: Your mother’s position on this issue might be due to a desire on her part not to hurt your feelings. That’s admirable on one hand but is not helping you on the other.
It’s great that you possess the desire to lose some of your extra weight and to strive to improve your body image. Seek out a counselor at your school or school nurse who can help direct you to resources that can educate you and encourage you to eat a healthy diet and to safely exercise regularly.
These two areas are the key for you! The good news is that you have a lot of control over what you eat and how often you exercise. Ask your mother to work with you to create a healthier diet and see if she will go out for brisk walks with you in your neighborhood. This would be a great start in the right direction.
Also consider seeing your family physician to provide you a physical exam before setting up an exercise program. Discuss your plans in detail with your doctor and solicit his or her advice with your mother present at the appointment. I trust this will help her to understand and realize just how important this is to you and how serious you are about getting started and making some improvements to your physique and overall health. Good luck!
I’M EMBARRASSED THEY DRAG FOOD HOME!
DR. WALLACE: Whenever we go out to dinner at any type of sit-down restaurant, my mom and my older sister always ask for a few containers to put their leftovers in. I find this so embarrassing! Not only do they scoop up anything left on their plate, but they will also hoard bread, butter, breadsticks, vegetables and parts of a salad — and on and on! It’s like they think they’re living with Tom Hanks on that island in the movie “Castaway!”
I don’t normally think our family is poor as I go through my daily life, but whenever we go out to eat with other people, I feel like we are because our friends and neighbors never ask for any of their leftovers, they just eat what they want and then they get up from the table and leave.
Is my family actually poor and I’m slow to realize this? I’m a big eater, so I never seem to have any leftovers when we eat out, but the way the ladies in my family act, I now wonder if we need this food to survive. — Puzzled Little Brother, via email
PUZZLED LITTLE BROTHER: Your mother paid for these meals, and I assume she and your sister liked the food so much that they wanted to take it home to enjoy it again later, instead of seeing the remainder of their portions simply thrown away. Remember, not everyone “sweeps up” his or her plate like you do with your impressive appetite!
Sometimes restaurants provide such a generous portion of food that some people, especially ladies, can’t eat it all in one sitting. This makes it logical for them to take the leftovers home for lunch for the next day.
I feel this is appropriate and prudent, so please cut them some slack on this issue. And for the record, I don’t feel this has anything to do with being poor or having limited financial resources. This practice is quite common by customers in all socioeconomic groups!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
