DR. WALLACE: I’m a 15-year-old boy, and I want to get my ears pierced just like my 17-year-old big sister. I think she’s now had her ears pierced for about a year already. My parents have said no to me every time I have asked them and trust me — I have asked them in a nice and polite way every single time.
I don’t understand why it seems to be fine and normal for a teen girl to get her ears pierced, but for some reason the same is not true for a boy. What’s up with this unequal standard?
How can I get my parents to let me get my ears pierced like my sister? After all, three of my male friends in my grade have already gotten their ears pierced, and one guy was actually able to get both of his ears pierced! For the record, I only asked my parents to let me pierce my left ear. Don’t you think my parents’ point of view is quite “last century?” — Want the Same Standard, via email
WANT THE SAME STANDARD: I’m not sure where you live, but there could be an age restriction for commercial businesses to pierce the ears of minors. Check in your local area first so that you’ll have the information to begin with.
I’m not sure how you will be able to talk your parents into letting you get your ears pierced at age 15. From your letter, it sounds as though your sister was allowed to have her ears pierced at the age of 16, so perhaps waiting until you’re 16 or older might be the way to go here.
The one facet of my answer that you’ll likely be pleased to hear is that I agree with you that gender should not matter regarding this issue. I feel if parents are willing to let one child get a piercing at age 16, then a younger sibling should also have the same opportunity at the very same age, regardless of gender.
I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO NOW
DR. WALLACE: I was bored one day at home, and I decided to “fix” a toilet in the basement of our home that was broken.
Well, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t fix the toilet and I ended up making quite a mess!
I tried to clean it all up the best I could, but I knew I was going to get in trouble because the mess was going to be impossible to hide for long. My mom doesn’t have the money to fix this toilet and she’s going to be mad at me, so I lied to her once she noticed what it looked like.
I made up a story that the neighbor came over to visit and he went downstairs to use the toilet and broke it. Now I’m scared that my mom could ask the neighbor boy if he really did that, and if she does, my story won’t hold up well at all. Should I tell her the truth now, or gamble that she will never put the neighbor boy on the spot to explain to her what he “did?” — Scared Storyteller, via email
SCARED STORYTELLER: Explain to your mother exactly what happened. Tell her the truth: that you were only trying to help out around the house, and you became shocked and scared when things took a turn for the worse.
Apologize for lying to her and promise her not to lie to her again. And then, be sure to keep that promise!
I trust that if you are punished at all it will be for lying, not for trying to fix something in your home in an effort to be helpful.
Always remember that parents do understand that “life happens,” so they usually have a bit of an understanding that inexperienced teens will make mistakes from time to time. But intentionally lying is seen as a very poor character trait. Trying to help around the home and failing is seen as making a youthful mistake. There is a big difference, and you’ll always be better off admitting your flaws and mistakes honestly.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.