DR. WALLACE: I’d like to respond to the woman who wrote to you and mentioned that she was adopted, and said that her “real” mother was a woman who gave her life, not the woman who raised her from the age of 1 through becoming an adult at 18.
In my case, I also happen to be adopted, and believe me, I consider my “real” parents to be my adoptive parents! These parents gave me a wonderful home full of love, happiness and encouragement in every area that was important to me as a child and a young adult.
They gave me guidance, help and loving discipline — and even “tough love” the few times I needed that, too! My adopted parents were always available when I needed someone to talk with. If I had been given the opportunity to select which set of adoptive parents I could choose when I was first put up for adoption, I could not have selected better ones!
Someday, I would like to consider meeting my birth mother mostly because I am curious, as any adopted teen would likely be. But if I ever did meet this woman who gave me life, she would only be a friend since I don’t really know her, and more importantly, she doesn’t know me at all!
No human beings could ever replace my “real” mom and my “real” dad — and I love my adopted parents with all of my heart. — Lucky girl, via email
LUCKY GIRL: Most teens who are adopted and write to me concerning who they consider to be their “real” parents share your views quite similarly.
Parents are the ones who are there when needed, and even almost every birth parent would agree with this.
I’m very happy that you found a wonderful, loving home and that you took the time to share your story and viewpoint with us.
SECONDHAND SPOUSE
DR. WALLACE: I know you don’t like smoking or vaping of any kind, so I wish to enlist you to expound upon about the dangers of breathing secondhand smoke, as well.
My new husband insists on smoking indoors and I find this not only disgusting but also unsafe! I’m 20 and he’s 21, and to say the least, he’s headstrong and feels that he’s always right. He thinks he’s only putting himself at risk and that since I don’t smoke, I’ll be fine.
Can you provide information that secondhand smoke does, indeed, have the potential to cause medical problems? — Spousal secondhand, via email
SPOUSAL SECONDHAND: Research on involuntary smoking (also known as secondhand or passive smoking) shows that regularly inhaling someone else’s smoke indeed dramatically increases the risk of developing lung cancer and other breathing illnesses.
According to the American Cancer Society, a study found that nonsmoking women exposed to a husband’s secondhand smoke from a pack of cigarettes a day at home had doubled the risk of lung cancer.
Furthermore, inhaling their husband’s secondhand smoke during pregnancy exposed the unborn child to health risks. Be sure to “expose” your husband to your question and my answer here.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.