DEAR SUSAN: I’m a young, attractive woman who cannot for the life of me get a date. I try, but those I’m attracted to don’t reciprocate my interest. Now, I’m not shy, I’m receptive to men and have no desire for a relationship or commitment. Really, I just want to meet a nice guy and have a good time. What should I do? — From the “Single File” Blog
DEAR BLOGGER: Cyndi Lauper said it so well: “Girls just want to have fun”. Trouble is, no one believes her. Girls just want more than that: impressive engagement ring, pretty house in the country, big bank account, private school for the children. Between you and me, if I were male, I’d be very skittish about the other gender, no matter how pretty or nice. So, my prescription for you, a young attractive woman, is to delete dating from your to-do list. Yep. You read it right. No more dates — or mooning about them — for a solid month. Instead, get yourself into the things that really and truly ring your bell. If it’s cooking, sign up for a cooking class. And maybe a golf class, swimming instruction, music theory or a book club. What it is doesn’t matter nearly as much as its excitement factor. Give yourself a month (at least) to mosey around your world for its most interesting parts. If at the end of 30 days you’re eager to get back to man-hunting, well, it’s your call. But I’m betting you’re bored by silly dating and energized by the passion you feel for your interests. Think about it. By deleting dating, you’ve become so much more desirable.
Here, in the always-single/never-married section of the survey, responses are worth an extended reading because this is a population rarely polled — and even more rarely in full voice. So think a bit about their words as you add your own:
— Have you chosen not to marry because you want to grow as a person first? (57.5% of respondents said no.)
— Do you believe it’s possible to grow as an individual within marriage? (78% said yes.)
— Does your planning for the future (if you intend to marry) include a marriage contract or prenup? (37.9% of those who responded said no, while 31.7% answered yes.)
— Do your reasons for remaining single include not wanting to coordinate your sexual needs with a partner? (89.5% said no.)
— If you were to marry, do you believe your sex life would change in terms of frequency and satisfaction? (64.7% of readers said “more frequent”; 61.6% said “more satisfying”; 14.6% said “no change.”)
We’ve uncovered another treasure trove of “Single File” paperbacks — in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected]
