DR. WALLACE: I have to wear glasses to be able to see properly, and I’ve had to wear them ever since I was in middle school. Now I’m in high school, and over time I have gotten quite used to how I look wearing glasses and so have most of my friends.
Once in a while, I need to take my glasses off, like after sports to wash my face or when I take a shower. One time when I was doing this, a girl I don’t really know too well told me, “You look so homely without your glasses, you should always keep them on.”
This random comment out of the blue really hurt my feelings and made me feel self-conscious about my face whenever I take off my glasses.
Now I’m wondering if it’s true that I don’t look good with my glasses off. I kind of want to ask my close girlfriends what they think, but I’m too nervous to check with them on this issue. What if they end up telling me the very same thing? — Girl With Glasses, via email
GIRL WITH GLASSES: Unfortunately, people can sometimes say cruel or mean things intentionally or even unintentionally. It’s hard to know what motivated this particular girl to make these unwelcome comments to you, but the good news is you know who you are, and she does not.
Any time a rude comment is made, don’t forget that it is up to you how you respond afterward. And by responding, I’m not simply referring to you speaking with her; I’m focusing on how you internalize or dismiss this comment within your own mind. Realize that she’s not the ultimate judge of anyone’s looks and that she would likely not like receiving a similar comment about her personal appearance. It’s better for you to focus on considering the source of this comment (an ignorant stranger) rather than the content of the comment. Once you think it over and realize that her opinion really means nothing to you, do your best to laugh it off and go on with your life.
Those who know you find you friendly and beautiful, and indeed you are — with or without your glasses on.
I’M NOT ALLOWED TO BABYSIT!
DR. WALLACE: I am a responsible 16-year-old boy who wants to babysit local kids in our neighborhood to make extra money. I got the idea from my sister who is 18 years old and babysat for a lot of our neighbors when she was my age. One time when my sister couldn’t babysit, I offered to my neighbors to babysit their nine-year-old twin boys. I was told, “No thanks, we want a girl to babysit, not a boy.” I am good with children and still want to babysit to make some extra spending money. How can I convince these neighbors across the street from us that boys are just as good at babysitting as girls? And if they won’t let me, do you think other parents on our street would let me babysit their boys? I’m thinking of printing up some flyers to pass out to see if there is a market for a responsible boy to babysit other younger kids, especially boys. I know I’d be a great babysitter for boys. I could play sports or video games with them and the time would just fly by! — Future Male Babysitter, via email
FUTURE MALE BABYSITTER: I am sure boys can be as effective at babysitting as girls are in most cases, if they are given the opportunity. However, some parents feel that young girls are more responsible and nurturing than young boys.
Many parents feel that hiring a male babysitter isn’t an option for this reason, so you may face an uphill challenge to get your opportunity. I do have a few ideas you can try: First, see if you can babysit together with your sister once with your neighbor’s child so the parents can see that you are capable.
Second, perhaps your mother can help you. See if she’s willing to vouch for you to the other parents to let them know about your character and responsible personality. This may go a long way toward other parents seriously considering you for the job. If agreeable for your mother, you might suggest to other prospective parents that you babysit their children in your home the first few times, with your mother there to provide you support and backup as you get to know these children. If you can get a client, this might provide a way for that family to feel more comfortable with your capabilities and reliability.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
