Dear Annie: I was in a nine-month relationship up until about a month ago. Without going into a lot of detail, the guy I was seeing decided to ghost me without any warning. We had a great conversation on Thursday, and then on Friday morning, he blocked my calls, emails, etc.
I have no idea what happened. Later that Thursday night, I had accidentally FaceTimed him (my phone was in my pocket), and his son answered. Keep in mind I had never met his son the whole time we were together.
This is not the first time he has stopped speaking to me for reasons only he knows, but this is the first time he has gone this far. I’m trying to move past what he has done, but I am having a hard time. Even though we dated for only nine months, I talked to him about everything, and we had such great times together. I want to know why he did what he did to get some closure, but I don’t know what to do. Do I need to just let this go? — Ghosted
Dear Ghosted: Resist the temptation to speculate. Whatever his reasons are, the end result is the same: He’s not reliable, not communicative and, most importantly, not around. And he is a total jerk in the way he treated you.
Write him a letter explaining your confusion and your hurt feelings. Send it to him to get any pent-up feelings off your chest, but don’t expect a response. A guy who disappears typically doesn’t want to be found.
If he changes his mind and reaches out to you, and you take him back, it will only be a matter of time before he cuts you off again. That’s him, not you. After writing your letter, run a hundred miles from this guy.
Dear Annie: Several years ago, a friend and I took a series of art classes offered by our local senior center. My friend truly excelled and completed two beautiful paintings. I enjoyed the classes immensely but did not do nearly as well.
I signed up again this past spring. With a lot of individual help from the instructor, I painted a pretty good painting of my house. I had it framed and hung it on my living room wall.
My friend saw it, and on her next visit, she presented me with a painting she did of my house. There is no question that hers is a better rendering of my house, but I want my painting to remain on the wall.
When I told her this and refused to switch paintings, she became annoyed and hasn’t spoken to me since. My husband feels I should have hung her picture and taken it down when she left. This friend occasionally stops by unannounced, so I don’t think that is a great solution.
What are your thoughts? — I’ve Peeved Picasso
Dear I’ve: The painting your friend gifted you was exactly that — a thoughtful gift. This does not give her the right to decide then where it belongs in your home. Find a nice place to keep her painting and share it with her.
You can be appreciative and impressed with her painting while also being proud of your own and the progress you’ve made in class. Express this to her as well as another thanks for her gift. It’s far too silly a matter to lose touch over.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]
