Dear Annie: My father turns 80 this year, and my three siblings and I were thinking of giving him a birthday party. We are doing this mostly out of obligation, as none of us enjoys my father’s company and hair-trigger temper.
My father lives four hours from me and even farther from my siblings. He has been married to my stepmother for 20 years, and we all adore her. My stepmother has a son, “Leo,” who is married with children and lives close to my father and his wife.
I mentioned to my father that we would like to have Leo and his family at the birthday party, and Dad exploded. He said if Leo comes, he will not attend. He went on to say he hates Leo and never wants to see him again.
My stepmother told me that Dad has felt this way for many years. She admitted that it makes her nervous when Leo calls because just the mention of his name sends my father into a tirade.
Annie, my father has never been a reasonable man. He is selfish and angry, blaming everyone else for his bad decisions. I hate to see my stepmother suffer so much, even though I know it is her choice to stay with my father. I would rather not have this party because we are doing it only out of guilt. What do you say? — Disgusted in the Northeast
Dear Disgusted: If you choose to have this party, you do not have to include Leo. Your stepmother will understand. However, there is no reason you must celebrate this way. We vote to tell Dad the distance between all of you makes it too difficult to plan events. Take him out for a fancy dinner instead.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Out of Patience,” who said the new co-worker, “Louise,” inserted herself into every conversation, whether it involved her or not. That letter could have been written by one of my staff. In fact, I suspect it was.
On more than one occasion, I have heard complaints about Louise. The woman has an opinion on everything. After six months, she can tell the 10-year employee how things should be done, even though she has no experience in that department. She butts in on conversations regarding office business and then gets behind with her own responsibilities and complains ad nauseam.
I have tried speaking to Louise behind closed doors to help her develop a better rapport with the staff, to no avail. I told her she might want to keep the negativity to a minimum, and the next thing I know, someone asked her how she was doing, and she replied, “I’m not allowed to talk about that.”
I have come to realize that Louise has no social skills, and I don’t know how to help her or the staff with this issue. — Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught: If you think you can teach Louise better people skills, by all means, give it a try. Otherwise, the staff should try to ignore her social breaches, irritating though they may be. She can’t help herself.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Concerned Neighbor in Pennsylvania,” who thinks her neighbor, “Nancy,” may be overdosing her elderly husband, “Tom,” to keep him docile. If this is happening, it is abuse and needs to be reported. The neighbor can notify the local Area Agency on Aging so a Protective Service Investigation can be done. The number is in the phone book.
I am an employee of our local Area Agency on Aging and have been involved in many similar cases. Make no mistake, this is abuse. — Case Manager in Pennsylvania
Dear Case Manager: If Nancy is indeed withholding or overdosing Tom’s medication, she needs to be reported, and we hope the neighbor is willing to make the call.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
