Dear Annie: I have been married for 13 years, and during all that time, my husband, an outwardly friendly, kind person and successful businessman, has struggled with addictions to drugs and hard-core pornography. Naturally, my willingness to trust him also has diminished, mostly because of his deception. He claims that he loves me, but he refuses to go for counseling and has quit attending meetings of Narcotics Anonymous.
When I told him of my concerns, he demanded I stay out of his personal life and stop trying to control him. I don’t need perfection, but I would like to be able to trust again. I am not sure how to proceed, and I am not quite sure I have enough energy to continue worrying over his health, his business and the constant nagging thought that he is not telling me the truth. We have not spoken to each other for over a week. Where do we go from here? — Burned Too Many Times
Dear Burned: To a marriage counselor, without him if necessary. You have some hard decisions to make, and you will need help. If your husband wants this marriage to survive, he has to work at it, too. There is help for those with addictions, but he is the one who must want to get better. Meanwhile, contact Nar-Anon (for family and friends of addicts) at 22527 Crenshaw Blvd., Suite 200B, Torrance, CA 90505 (nar-anon.org).
Dear Annie: This is in response to “Silver Anniversary,” who said her parents gave lavish gifts when her divorced siblings remarried, while they only received a card for their 25th anniversary. They are not alone.
I have six siblings, all of whom have been divorced. My husband and I are the only ones still married. My parents never spent time with my children, but they took the other grandchildren to church, shopping and out for lunch on a regular basis. When my daughter asked to go along, she was told, “Your parents are not divorced, so you don’t need to go with us.” My daughter came home crying and asked when we were getting a divorce, because she wanted to go with Grandma and Grandpa, too.
Because my children didn’t come from a broken home, they never were a priority in their grandparents’ lives, so now, the grandparents are not a priority in my children’s lives, and they can’t understand why they don’t get to see the great-grandchildren very often. — Happily Married for 40 Years
Dear Happily Married: Your parents may have meant well, but to your children, it was simply favoritism. How sad for all of you.
Dear Annie: I read the letter asking how to dispose of unused medications. I faced a similar problem when my mother-in-law died. My husband and I found many unused, unexpired prescriptions in her apartment. I remembered reading about the Humane Society opening a new vet’s office and gave them a call. They said that many of the drugs we had found would be usable for their animal patients.
It seems that animals can sometimes tolerate antibiotics and heart medication, although I’m not sure about the antidepressants. — Want to Help
Dear Want to Help: You weren’t the only one with that idea. Read on:
From Wilmington, N.C.: In my area, the Topsail Island Turtle Hospital uses unused medications to treat sick and injured sea turtles.
Midwest: One way to dispose of unused medications is to find a church or organization that sends medicines to Third World countries.
Flint, Mich.: I take care of my elderly father who is on numerous meds. I asked his doctor what to do with the meds that he no longer uses because they change them often, and he gave me the address to a free clinic. It’s a 40-mile drive, but it’s worth it if someone else can use these drugs, especially those who have no insurance.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.