Dear Annie: I am 60 years old, and my husband is 65. When we are out together, he stares at younger women in their 20s. I mean — he stares and stares. This is very embarrassing for me, and it makes me feel disrespected.
When I tell him what he does, he says I am lying and that it’s all in my head. He says I have no confidence.
Please can you help me? Am I making too much of this? — Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed: Your husband IS disrespecting you. To make you feel bad about not wanting him to leer at 20-year-old women is just plain wrong. You are 100% correct that his behavior is inappropriate. It has nothing to do with confidence and everything to do with class and respect. He has to cut that out.
Dear Annie: I am an attentive, loving grandmother to a handful of grandchildren. Last Christmas, it was announced two weeks prior to their arrival that one of the grandchildren was choosing to identify as the opposite sex while being underage. We were asked to play along with the NEW name!
We are trying to wrap our heads around this. In the meantime, the child has started taking drug therapy to permanently deepen their voice. Would this not be considered child abuse on the parent’s part to allow their underage child to make an adult decision that is irreversible?
Another question: What young teen is capable of making such a life-altering decision? — Concerned Grandparent
Dear Concerned Grandparent: Since you are the grandparent and not the parent of the child, your options are limited. You can tell the parents how you feel about this, especially your thoughts on the measures being taken that are irreversible. As for the child, embrace them with open arms and lots of love and call them by whatever name they want to be called by.
Dear Annie: I am writing about the letter from “Grieving Cousin,” and I want to state emphatically that suicide is never someone else’s fault.
Suicide is not the fault of an ex-lover, former boss or anyone else. We have all been dumped, fired or otherwise snubbed. While it doesn’t feel good, most people don’t respond by taking their own lives. No one should be made to feel it’s their fault that someone died by suicide.
Similarly, people who do die by suicide have usually been feeling hopeless and depressed for some time. Many have a long history of suffering with depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, trauma or other mental health issues. It is rarely an impulsive act.
I’d like to share some accurate, professional resources about suicide:
https://nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Awareness-Month-(SPAM)
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/8-common-myths-about-suicide
Suicide is indeed painful for the survivors, so please take the time to review these resources rather than going for the easy out. — Resources to Help
Dear Resources to Help: Thank you for sharing this information.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]
