A bunch of us have been wondering: Why is it you never invented electricity?
Yes, I know, Benjamin Franklin kind of stole your thunder in the electricity department, but think about it. Why is it that other people come up with brilliant, game-changing, world-changing ideas and you, sadly, don’t?
The answer should be a wake-up call.
It’s because they get up early.
That’s right!
In America, respect for those who get up early is in our DNA. And if you don’t believe me, take it from Jess McHugh, a writer for The Washington Post, who recently woke up bright and early to write, “Our Obsession with Morning Routines Dates Back to Benjamin Franklin.”
According to McHugh, the Benster “believed his success was due in part to his 5 a.m. start, “the time of the day when he would “contrive day’s business, and take the resolution of the day; prosecute the present study, and breakfast.”
The breakfast part you can relate to, I’m sure, but the 5 a.m. part — that could be what’s missing in your slog up the org chart.
Still don’t believe me?
Remember, as someone once said — I think it was that dude from Philadelphia — “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
It also makes a man sleepy, grouchy and quite unlikely to keep up with the latest episodes of “Yellowjackets,” so you really should do it right.
If you’re going to make yourself miserable by getting up before the sun, you should reap the maximum benefit. Here are the three steps you need to take.
No. 1: Convince yourself to get up early.
There are advantages to getting up early. First of all, your commute will be easier, though you should be aware that while there will be fewer people on your bus or on the freeway, they will all be extremely cranky.
Also, when you do get to work, there will be fewer people to bug you.
Looking for solitude, another early riser, the artist Georgia O’Keeffe, took a daily dawn walk to her workplace “armed with her walking stick to ward off rattlesnakes.” I’m not sure a walking stick is the best way to handle the snakes in your office, but it’s worth considering.
No. 2: Don’t skip breakfast
Tied to the uniquely American respect for the virtuous early riser are the purported benefits of a healthy breakfast. We’ve already seen Ben Franklin salivating for his 5 a.m. repast, while the tabloids have since time immemorial feasted on the idea of the breakfast of the stars, like Marilyn Monroe, “who reportedly drank raw eggs in warm milk first thing in the morning,” or Elizabeth Taylor, “who swore by bacon, eggs and a mimosa.”
You should definitely adopt such a menu in your early-riser routine, with one minor substitution: Replace the eggs with cinnamon buns.
No. 3: Don’t keep it a secret.
People who get up early can be insufferable. They want everyone to know it, and, you know what? They’re right.
Your first appearance on Slack should take place before you brush your teeth. Let your co-workers know that you are up and they’re not. Admittedly, this is a lot easier to do when you are working from home, since you can unleash a barrage of messages and then go back to bed.
Do be aware that by starting work early you may inadvertently start a competition. When your co-workers see the kudos you receive for being up so early, they could decide to adopt the same strategy for themselves. This could force you to get up even earlier to make the right impression.
Pretty soon, 8 a.m. will be the old 9 a.m., and then it will be only slackers who punch in at 7, so you will have to get up at 5 to drag yourself into work at 6. And so it will go until everyone is at work at 4, then 3, then 2, at which point you might as well not go to sleep at all.
This is the point where you start waltzing into work at 11 or, if at home, announcing that you will not be participating in any Zoom that starts before noon. Everyone else in the company will be so exhausted that you’re sure to shine.
Of course, if you’re still not sure you can set your alarm clock for success, remember, I only said you have to wake up early and get right to work. I didn’t say you had to open your eyes.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at [email protected] To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
