TEENS: Today is Dec. 31, the last day of 2021. Each year I aim to highlight a topic that truly resonated during the year that is drawing to a close. 2021 was of course affected by the pandemic in a very big way, just as 2020 was. But, as 2020 was the year that the pandemic had its largest effect, I’ll now say that in 2021 we received the most non-pandemic mail and communications about substance use, particularly alcohol and drugs. This letter best encapsulates the debate around the topic and is one that should cause us all to pause and take a moment to consider just how dangerous substances can be when they are abused. Here’s the letter of the year:
DR. WALLACE: I want you to weigh in on a family argument, or shall I say disagreement, on a topic we are currently debating within our home. Which do you feel is the more serious problem among teens: drugs or alcohol?
My parents say that drugs are a bigger problem because they have a cocktail every once in a while, and they feel alcohol is no big deal. I guess my parents are lucky when it comes to drinking alcohol, as they are just social drinkers. They drink a little here and there, but neither of my parents has had any deep problems or legal issues due to alcohol.
I personally think alcohol is a bigger problem and more serious because it’s easier to get as it is so socially acceptable and readily available. I’ve seen teens take advantage of the easy access to alcohol and to abuse it wildly. I know of several binge drinkers at my high school, and I hear it’s even worse at our local college. Your vote will be our family’s tiebreaker, so what do you think? — Home Debate Club, via email
HOME DEBATE CLUB: Both drug and alcohol abuse are very serious teen problems — but I actually do feel alcohol has caused more overall damage due to the volume of teens I have seen it impact over the years. I have plenty of support with this stance, including the wonderful advocates at the national organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD.)
I will also mention that drug abuse is of course horrible as well, and those truly addicted also face tough lives, bodily harm and even death due to their drug addictions. Several of the drug cases I’ve counseled on over the years have been truly horrific, but then again so have some of the drunk driving consequences I’ve seen firsthand as well.
For me, the tiebreaker comes down to volume, and sadly alcohol is the big winner, or shall I say loser, here when it comes to teens and young adults, especially in regard to the peer pressure that often induces and accompanies alcohol abuse by some high school and college students. No student, teen or young adult should ever be goaded into participating in binge drinking — ever.
I WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO BE PUBLICLY OFFICIAL
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I have been dating now for four months, and he’s super sweet and kind to me when we are alone. We recently agreed that we are an exclusive couple, but for some reason he does not want to tell all his friends at school that we are dating exclusively.
Should I give him an ultimatum: either he makes us “official,” or we break up? I really want him to be proud of me, rather than trying to hide me from all of his guy friends. — The Hidden Girlfriend, via email
THE HIDDEN GIRLFRIEND: You can certainly give your “boyfriend” an ultimatum if you’d like to, but it’s uncertain what his response might be.
Rather than a formal ultimatum, what might be better is to find a clever time to approach him at school when he’s with his friends.
Walk right up to him, say something nice to him in front of everyone and give him a very brief kiss. This way your situation will be disclosed, and you can then note his two reactions. By two, I’m referring to how he reacts in real time and then again later when (and if!) the two of you are alone again.
You’ll soon know where you stand with him, and your bold move might be just the jump-start he needs to explain to his friends who you are.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
