Dear Annie: My wife and I are, year by year, going through renovations in many parts of our house. I am more than capable of doing most of the work. However, we hire someone for anything that requires inspections or jobs that take a long time.
My older cousin is very close to a gentleman I’ll call “Dan,” who is a very skilled jack-of-all-trades and has done some excellent work for my cousin and my mother. The problem is, Dan is a total creep around my wife (and most younger women). I’d like to think I’m overreacting, but his weird behavior is a running joke whenever his name is mentioned.
Dan makes horribly sexualized comments to my wife, and he once ended up on the ground outside a bar when he walked by and slapped her on the rear. My wife thinks we should hire him to complete some work, thinking that Dan will give a discount because of his infatuation with her. I do not want this creep anywhere near her or knowing where we live. My wife thinks I’m overreacting. Am I blowing this out of proportion? — Confused in Pennsylvania
Dear Confused: I’m not really sure why you say you are confused. Your wife is the one who is confused by allowing this creep to come into your house. No amount of money saved is worth being sexually harassed on a daily basis. You are right, and you should try to find a more professional and less creepy jack-of-all-trades.
Dear Annie: I have experience as a financial coach, and some of the people I help are researching college scholarship opportunities for their children who are in middle school and high school. Many colleges and universities take a hard look at the social media history of prospective applicants, especially those who are applying for scholarships.
The colleges look at grades, accomplishments, volunteer work, awards, honors and social media to determine the character of the applicant. If this teen is planning to go to college, the parents do need to monitor the teen’s interactions and help the teen understand the ramifications of careless and reckless posts.
It would be heartbreaking to do the right things to qualify for college and then fall short because of old and forgotten social media posts. Anything we post is out there forever somewhere. — Just Another Point of View
Dear Another Point of View: Thank you for your insight. You bring up a very important point for kids — and parents — to know. This is a new challenge that this generation is facing, and it is important to teach children about the consequences of their words and actions, especially on social media, for all the world to see and remember.
Dear Annie: I have been a lifelong reader of “Ask Ann Landers” and “Dear Abby,” and our local paper started carrying your column recently.
One of the first letters I saw was about a family member with atrocious table manners, licking his plate, etc.
There were a couple of responses printed recently as well, including one from a mental health professional.
I’m a retired dementia-care nurse, and the alarming thing to me, which the professional did not address, was the fact that the original writer indicated this is recent, i.e., a drastic change in behavior.
That family needs to get that man in for a complete physical, mental and, especially, psychosocial checkup NOW! Such a major behavioral change is a huge red flag for possible early-onset dementia or other potentially serious medical issues. Any family with a member who is experiencing such a radical change in behavior, no matter what the behavior is, needs to take it very seriously. — New Reader in Maryland
Dear New Reader: Thank you for your expertise and for your service in being a dementia-care nurse. What a remarkable career. You are correct, and I hope that your letter helps people take the necessary steps to help their loved ones.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]
