Q: I met with the assistant manager of an apartment complex and applied for a rental unit. She was helpful and polite and reviewed the documents that I needed to provide. I wanted to move in as soon as possible, so I returned the next day with the documents. Again, she was very helpful. She said I would hear from her in two weeks.
I waited and hadn’t heard from her in two weeks, so I called for an update. She scolded me as a bad mother would reprimand a child who had done nothing wrong. She was no longer helpful. She was rude, inappropriate and unprofessional. She reamed me out over calling her, repeating several times she told me that she would call me. Her behavior was bizarre after she had previously been efficient, professional and helpful.
I worry she may be bipolar, because no matter how bad a day someone has, no one should ever behave that way at work. I have worked in different companies for 20 years, and I have never and would never scold a professional as if he or she was a bad child. I can’t imagine speaking to an adult like that. I was stunned and can’t even remember how I reacted, but I know I was polite.
Now I am in a quandary about living there. If she is the one who handles tenant relations and schedules work orders, am I walking into a future dealing with an erratic person whenever I need something done? Should I report her behavior to the manager? But what if others have reported her and nothing changes? What if the manager tells her someone complained, and she figures it out and takes revenge by never putting through work orders or being helpful if anything needs fixing? Also, I don’t know if I want to live in a building that would employ someone emotional and unprofessional like that. Moving is expensive and even more expensive if I make a mistake in choosing a building. What should I do?
A: You have had three interactions with this assistant manager; two were positive and one was negative. Assuming you are not a psychologist, it’s not important to categorize her personality; she may have had a bad day or have problems in her personal life. There are too many variables that determine how a person behaves in any given situation. What is important is she has shown the range of emotions she is willing to display in a workplace setting to someone she doesn’t know. She may not care because up to now, nothing has been said to her about her behavior. Or more likely, it means she has no control over emotions. Also, you may have witnessed only the tip of the iceberg regarding her inability to control her anger.
You are a potential client of the building. Regardless of how inappropriate her response was, she focused on how you violated her demand to meet her expectations. She spoke to you in a way no one would ever speak to a client — to tell a person to not call. That shows her need to control others even when it’s inappropriate. Your simple disregard for her instructions threatened her position and self-confidence. Now imagine how she might react if you violated an established building rule or policy.
Most residential leases require the tenant to rent for at least a year, and it would be impractical to move every year because you change your mind about the building. You might want to reconsider committing to this building until you find out more about this assistant manager’s duties and involvement with tenants. If you choose to live in the building, you will likely witness or personally experience further outbursts within the year. Someone with serious control issues has unleashed her anger before and she will likely do it again. As you value professionalism on the job, think about how often you might have to deal with her throughout the year. Most rental tenants have periodic maintenance requests. Ask yourself if her behavior is more important than getting the apartment you like.
Be assured other tenants have reported her or that her manager has experienced her anger as well. If her behavior is overly upsetting to you, try to meet some of the tenants who live there to find out more about potential treatment and problems they experience. Others may not be as sensitive as you are with rude and unprofessional behavior, as long as management handles their apartment issues.
Email [email protected] with all workplace experiences and questions. For more information, visit www.lindseyparkernovak.com and for past columns, see www.creators.com/read/At-Work-Lindsey-Novak.
