DR. WALLACE: I was not a good student this year. I’m glad eighth grade is over for me at this point. Our intermediate school allowed a pass-fail grading system for students who did not want letter grades. So, I just barely got a passing grade by the skin of my teeth this year! Summer is here, so now I can forget about that miserable school year.
But next year, I’m going into high school. I was just curious if teachers are allowed to give students pass-fail grades, or will I be graded on the letter system of A through F? — Barely passing student, via email
BARELY PASSING STUDENT: Thanks for writing here once you realized that you now have four more years of school and need to get a handle on being a more successful student. If you have a learning disability or anything else you feel affects your ability to achieve passing grades, you should see a counselor immediately.
To answer your question: It depends on your school district grading policies in local jurisdictions and school districts. Some do allow pass-fail high school grades, whereas others stick to the usual letter grading system.
In any case, you are already exhibiting a fear of achieving poor grades, so address this with your parents and even your new high school teachers immediately. Ask to sit at the front of classes where you’ll better be able to stay focused and to be more likely to participate in classroom discussions.
MY MOM IS CURIOUS ABOUT MY THERAPY
DR. WALLACE: I go to counseling each week. I have been doing so for a year because of my past suicide attempt and I do feel it is helping me a lot.
I can tell my therapist anything at all and I feel safe that she won’t share the information with my parents.
The problem I have recently developed is that my mom has asked to go to my sessions to directly participate in some and to be told of everything I talked about in others.
I don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t want her to know everything I talk about because some of it is quite sensitive and I’m doing really well with things going on in therapy the way they are. Can my parents force the therapist to tell her everything she wants to know? Sometimes I think she is just more curious than actually trying to help me. — In therapy, via email
IN THERAPY: I’m truly glad to hear you’re getting professional help for your mental health. This is a huge issue that affects large numbers of the overall population intermittently, and sadly, for some, on an ongoing basis. Your parents do not have a right to be involved in your therapy sessions. They should remain confidential to the degree that you wish them to be.
I suggest you openly discuss this issue in detail with your therapist and ask him or her to assist you in communicating effectively with your mother. It could be that your mother feels responsible in some way for the issues you are suffering with and wants to help relieve some associated guilt she may feel. Then again, she could simply be curious, as you have guessed to this point. My suggestion is to focus on yourself and lean on your therapist to explain how to best handle this issue with your mother. Don’t assume you know where she’s coming from, just as you would not want her to assume she knows how you feel.
Congratulations on your ongoing efforts and commitment to getting the help you need. I commend you for reaching out and working hard to improve your daily life. I wish you continued success and relief in this endeavor always.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.