Last week, in our series on dating with a mental health diagnosis, we looked at some of the benefits of gradually cultivating vulnerability and emotional intimacy in a relationship. Now, this week, we finally turn our attention to the topic that is of primary concern for most people: having an open and transparent conversation with your partner about your mental health challenges when the timing is right.
As we’ve emphasized throughout this series, honesty and integrity are at the core of all healthy relationships. So, even if you choose not to go into detail about your mental health-related difficulties when you first start dating your partner, once trust has been developed, a deeper level of self-disclosure will be warranted.
No. 4: Take a Leap of Faith, Be Patient With Your Partner and Practice Communication
Hopefully, by the time you decide to share more of the details of your mental health journey with your partner, you will have already alluded to some of the ways in which mental health difficulties have impacted your life. For example, if you suffer from depression, maybe you’ve talked about times in your life that were particularly dark and challenging for you, or perhaps you’ve explained that waves of intense sadness wash over you from time to time.
Whatever the case might be, sharing bits and pieces of your personal challenges with your partner in the early stages of your relationship is recommended, as it paves the way for further discussion of these topics in the future.
Once that future has arrived, and you are confident that your partner is trustworthy, safe and someone you want to continue to be around, the only thing left to do is to take a leap of faith and fully allow your partner into your life. This is not an easy undertaking, as nobody leads a perfect and pristine life that is without mess or misfortune. Being vulnerable enough to let someone fully enter into your world demands accepting the fact that they will inevitably encounter some filth and grime along the way. Put more simply, you will be exposed, and this is not only the case for individuals with mental health disorders but for every human being brave enough to engage in true emotional intimacy.
How you decide to open up about your personal story and mental health challenges is up to you and will look different for everyone. Some people may decide to come right out and give a full rundown of their situation, while others may prefer to break their story up into smaller pieces.
Either way, give your partner time to absorb the information you disclose, and don’t pressure your partner to respond right away. Of course, a general sense of support and understanding should be expressed, but it is natural for your partner to have questions and to need time to process the information you have shared. Ultimately, those who love you will want to assist you in any way possible, but it is important to remember that in order to do this they will need your guidance, direction and patience along the way, just as you will need theirs.
Communication is a true key to any successful relationship, and in situations like this, the right amount of honest, effective communication that one sees fit to disclose can go a long way toward building a truly meaningful bond.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.