Dear Annie: My question concerns the fact that I received a heart icon on my profile on a dating website that I joined. I am new at this.
He is a widower, and I want to reply by thanking him for the heart and then send a message. Should I ask him a question regarding his profile? I’m not very good at beginning a conversation; I’m somewhat shy.
I have never pursued a man, and being on the website, I feel like we (the women) are pursuing men as well. What do you think? — Online Dating
Dear Online Dating: As a woman in 2022, it would be totally appropriate for you to heart him if you want to heart him or to thank him for the heart and then send him a message. Go for it! If you don’t try, you never know what could have been.
Dear Annie: Regarding “Anxious in Portland,” there might be another reason his wife may not be locking the door or closing it completely. The answer could be ADHD. My husband had the same issues. While it would kill him if anything happened to us by his not closing the door all the way or not locking it, it doesn’t happen. He still frequently fails to lock the doors.
I understand that now, after his diagnosis and after spending years of being angry. I do have to check the doors at night. If he is working late in his shop, I text him and put a sticky note on the door to remind him.
If your letter writer’s wife has ADHD, it’s a brain chemical issue, not immaturity. — More Understanding Wife
Dear Understanding Wife: Thank you for telling us of your experience with your husband’s ADHD and how it relates to not locking doors at night. Quite a number of readers offered similar advice, and I greatly appreciate it.
Dear Annie: I wanted to share something that has worked for me, as well as for several members of my family and a friend, to cure our alcoholism. It is the program called Rational Recovery. Because of our alcoholism, we all read the book and quit. One has to be fed up with drinking and its consequences. This is just one alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous. — Alternative to AA
Dear Alternative: Thank you for your recommendation, and if Rational Recovery helped all of you stop drinking, I applaud their program. At the same time, I’m not sure why you sought an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous, which has been so successful for nearly a century in helping countless alcoholics stop drinking, one day at a time, and live productive and happy lives for many years.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]