DR. WALLACE: How can I make the most of a work environment that I don’t like? I have a job that I don’t intend to keep forever but that works really well for my schedule and lifestyle right now. It allows me to pay my bills and gain valuable work experience in the field that I’m interested in, and so I want to try to stick with this job for at least a few more years.
That being said, my present work environment is very chaotic and unorganized, and my boss has made it clear that he is not willing to do much to fix even a few of these organizational problems.
This often creates a great deal of unnecessary stress for me, and sometimes I get so frustrated that I want to quit. Do you have any advice as to how I can continue to make this job work for me for a few more years, even if the circumstances aren’t perfect?
I know that overall, the positives of this job outweigh the negatives, but sometimes I get so fixated on the negative aspects of the job that I lose sight of the things that make it great for me from an overall perspective. — Frustrated by My Work Environment, via email
FRUSTRATED BY MY WORK ENVIRONMENT: Your last line was a key. You stated that your job is “great for me from an overall perspective.” No workplace is perfect, and your current experience is typical of what many people around the world experience at work on a daily basis.
Keep your mind and your enthusiasm above the fray as much as possible. During your non-working hours, think about the benefits of the work experience you’re receiving from this job and how even the pay you receive is helping you with your current life budget. Focusing on the positives is helpful. Think for a minute how you’d feel if the office announced cutbacks and that your job would suddenly no longer be available for you. This will likely give you a new perspective to consider.
Once you’ve cemented your appreciation for what you do have with your job, then you can focus on thinking of perhaps a few small, subtle changes that might help the office overall. Think carefully about the daily activities and how a few tweaks here and there might help to move things forward just a bit more efficiently overall. Once you have an idea or two, take them directly to your manager and share them at the end of one of your shifts. The manager will be able to consider their implementation and he’ll also know you have the best interests of your workplace in mind as well. This will be a good thing on both levels.
I FEEL SMOTHERED!
DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend is starting to smother me! I’m a guy who is 17 and I’ve been dating her for nearly a year now. The first six months went well, and I’d say they were mostly normal, but in the past few months my girl has been extremely possessive of my time and attention!
I like to have some of my personal time to hang out with my guy friends too. I went over to a buddy’s house to watch the Saturday March Madness Final Four games on television with a group of guys, and she pouted the whole weekend over this!
I know I’m good to her overall, but I simply can’t address her emotions all day and night like she wants me to. I need a little room to breathe! Is there anything that I can say to her to get her to understand this without having her go off even further on me? — Smothered Boyfriend, via email
SMOTHERED BOYFRIEND: You obviously know this, but one of the quickest ways to put a relationship in jeopardy is to become very possessive of the other’s time and attention. Have a frank discussion with her so that she knows just how you feel on this topic. It’s important for you to clear the air on this subject. However, once you’ve said your piece, ask her what is going on with her these days, and then be silent while you listen to her side of the story.
Since you and I do not know what she’ll say, it’s up to you to listen to her and to evaluate what you feel is going on. The two of you care for each other, so perhaps her opportunity to speak openly to you can be constructive and hopefully give you insight in terms of how to best proceed from there.
You can always exit the relationship if you feel too controlled within it, but since the two of you have spent a year or so together, I feel you both owe it to each other to try to get to the root causes of her consternation and hopefully find a suitable resolution. And even if you don’t find a suitable solution within your relationship, you’ll both know that you took the time to explore the situation fully and openly in earnest.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
