Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old, single female. I have been friends with “Tony” for two years. Tony is 25, married and has two children.
About a year ago, I started having feelings for Tony. He and his wife were separated at the time. (She’d had an affair.) Then he and his wife got back together. Two weeks ago, Tony told me he has feelings for me and was afraid he’d made a mistake returning to his wife. I told him I felt the same way, and we kissed. My intentions are not to be a homewrecker, but it may appear that way.
Should I tell Tony I love him? Or should I just try to be a supportive friend? — Loving Friend
Dear Loving: If you truly want to be a friend to Tony, encourage him to seek counseling and see if his marriage is worth saving. There are two children to consider. We know you want to do the right thing, so please don’t become involved with Tony while he is conflicted about his marriage. Let him be faithful to his wife or get a divorce. Then, if he turns to you when he is unattached, you will know that he isn’t using you for comfort. Whatever the outcome, at least you won’t have to feel guilty about your decision.
Dear Annie: I am part of a group of friends (male and female) who have dined together once a week for the past seven years. One of the women is about to get married, and, as she has found love at age 60, we are thrilled for her. However, her intended is having a real impact on the rest of us.
The groom buys nothing, cooks nothing, pays for nothing and eats enough for three people. When we go to a restaurant, he somehow manages to leave his wallet at home. When he comes to one of our homes for dinner, he eats the last morsel and drinks the last drop of everything. He also is picky about what brands we serve, particularly the wine. The more expensive the wine, the more he drinks.
When it’s our turn to go to the bride’s house, she covers for him and does all the work, citing how hard his day is. (We all are professionals, and our days are equally hard.)
We have gone so far as to make our discomfort known to the bride, and she has admitted she, too, finds it embarrassing, but nothing changes. We fear our friend is marrying a moocher. Is the solution complete acceptance, or should we attempt again to cajole the groom into doing his share? — The Maid of Honor
Dear Maid: The groom will not do his share unless his future wife insists on it, and she doesn’t sound ready to do that. If she is willing to do the work and pay the costs for the two of them, leave it be. That is her choice. Otherwise, the rest of you will have to decide whether her continued presence at these dinners is worth the price of her new husband, because he doesn’t come cheap.
Dear Annie: You missed an important point in your answer to “Anxious Employee,” whose boss was upset about not being invited to the employees’ baby showers and similar events.
Why are these parties being discussed at work? Even kindergartners know you don’t hand out invitations in school unless you invite the whole class. In addition, “Anxious” and her co-workers are also wasting company time on private social affairs. If they tended to their social arrangements on their own time, their boss would know nothing about it. — Unworried Employee
Dear Unworried: You may be right that the boss got wind of it through the office grapevine, but events for co-workers are somewhat work-related. Regardless, employee get-togethers, of any kind, should not have to include the boss.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
