DR. WALLACE: After graduating from college about a year and a half ago, I moved back into my parent’s house. To make a long story short, sharing a living space with my parents as an adult has been a nightmare! When I lived with roommates in college, I grew accustomed to doing things around the house my own way. I would leave dishes in the sink for a few days and wash them when I found time, and I always ran the air conditioning because my roommates and I liked to keep the house really cold. I was also able to invite friends over to my place at any time without it bothering anyone. My parents, on the other hand, yell at me if I don’t wash the dishes immediately after I use them, hate cold air and insist on keeping the air conditioning off at all times, and don’t want me to have any friends over at their house.
I desperately want to move out, but I currently cannot afford to do so, as my parents are no longer willing to support me financially. Isn’t it unfair for them to not help me pay for rent somewhere else when they’ve placed such strong restrictions on me in their home? — Feeling Trapped, via email
FEELING TRAPPED: I’m not sure you recognize how much of a favor your parents have done for you by allowing you to move back into their house! It’s understandable that you might not be able to afford a place of your own yet, but it’s certainly something you should be working toward. Until you are able to get your own place, it’s absolutely reasonable for your parents to ask you to abide by their way of doing things around the house. After all, it is their house, and you are their guest at this point.
If you continue to complain and push back against your parent’s guidelines, you are only going to create further conflicts and tension. In fact, they may not allow you to stay with them for much longer if you maintain your present attitude.
I understand that it is not fun to live with your parents as an adult, but that is the reality of your current situation. If you do not like it, work toward moving out by earning your own money to do so. Ultimately, you will have the ability to change your circumstances if you work hard enough and manage your finances wisely. In the meantime, try to appreciate the fact that your parents are providing you with a place to stay, and recognize that honoring their requests is the least you can do for them in return.
WILL MY DREAMS COME TRUE?
DR. WALLACE: I keep having the same dream that I am happily married and have two kids. I’m a girl who is only 15 and so this naturally has me wondering if my dream is a sign about my future life.
Do recurring dreams foretell the future? Do you think this dream will come true for me at some point?
At least my recurring dream is one that is happy for me. I have a friend who also has a few recurring dreams, and she tells me that they all are nightmares that scare her!
It seems I don’t often remember hardly any of my dreams, but for some reason this one keeps popping up. — Dreamy Girl, via email
DREAMY GIRL: Well, for starters, I can tell you anything is possible when it comes to your future but having this type of dream in no way guarantees anything about your future life. Oftentimes life is what we make of it, so you might find it comforting that you will have control over certain aspects of your life, but even those aspects will be surrounded by a whole lot of random events as well.
Some motivational speakers suggest that envisioning your life dreams and working toward them can increase your odds of someday making them reality.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.