DR. WALLACE: A good friend of mine invited me to come visit her in New York over the summer, and I really want to go, but I live in California, and I have a terrible fear of flying. I’ve only taken very small, short flights in my life before, and every time I’ve been on an airplane, I’ve had a panic attack without fail.
I’m so tired of this fear of mine interfering with my dreams to travel and visit the people that I care about, but it feels like I don’t have any control of the anxiety that takes over me when I get on a plane, and my body automatically responds by going into panic mode.
How can I overcome this fear response so that it doesn’t have power over my life anymore, and is it realistic to think that I may be able to fly to New York by myself in a couple of months? — Nervous in the Air, via email
NERVOUS IN THE AIR: You did not mention your age, but let’s start with the advice that you avoid alcohol and caffeine before and during your flight. You’ll already be nervous and a touch shaky due to your fear of flying, so please do not take in any substances that could exacerbate your condition.
Next, try to stay calm. Think about trying some breathing exercises, meditation and any other routine you may have that helps you to stay calm.
Also take time to think intellectually about commercial airplane flights. They are proven to be absolutely the safest possible mode of travel, and air travel is far safer than, for example, driving to New York — or even being a passenger in a professional limousine driving you to New York! The more you can set your mind in advance to think about and realize how safe this activity is, the more likely you’ll be able to keep yourself calm when the day of travel arrives.
Get yourself a full night’s sleep the night before! The more rested you are before traveling; the more your mind will be able to help you to relax. And when you get enough rest, you’ll be fresh enough the next day to work on any kind of game or puzzle you might enjoy. Plan to work on Sudoku, crossword puzzles, Rubik’s Cubes or any type of game you may have on your cellphone. You might even plan to download a new app or two so that you have something fun and fresh to focus on once you are in your seat on the airplane.
These are some of the quick suggestions I can offer you. Of course, depending on your own personal situation you might wish to consult with a mental health professional in advance of flying, one who specializes in travel anxiety. Whether you set your own strategy or seek to follow the advice of a medical professional, do your best to keep logic front and center in your mind. Notice the many other passengers around you who have full confidence in the flight. Know that air travel is extremely safe. Know that you do have the ability to stay logical and busy on your flight, and hopefully you’ll find that you can indeed endure air travel. Think about how much fun you’ll have once you arrive back East and see your friend in person! Your focus and your inner voice and thoughts will play a big part here. Do everything you can to plan in advance so that you can visualize just how well things will go for you on your upcoming trip.
I FEEL SAD TO POTENTIALLY LOSE SOME FRIENDS
DR. WALLACE: I’m 18 years old and nearing the close of my senior year of high school. Everyone is preparing to leave for college, mainly out of the area. I am also leaving the area but am worried about losing touch with my friends that I have known for so long.
I want to enjoy my last few months in high school and continue friendships with the people at my school but feel like it is pointless because we will be starting new lives away from one another. How can I maintain these friendships? Or is it even worth it? — Sad Thinking about This, via email
SAD THINKING ABOUT THIS: Luckily for you, this is the information age! There are vast tools available to nearly everyone who wishes to keep in touch with their friends, family members and acquaintances.
Many social media avenues exist that can truly help you to keep in touch, including Facebook, Snapchat and many others as well.
You should plan to keep your friendships going, to the extent that they make sense for you and the others you’ll be in contact with. Don’t forget that even if some of your friends move out of town or even out of state for their college years, many of them will return to their hometown areas to begin their careers or their adult lives. You never know who will and will not return to your area, so do stay in touch via text, Instagram, social media, email and any other avenue you know of. Friends are one of life’s joys, so plan now to stay in touch with your high school friends even after you all graduate and begin to move about.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
