DR. WALLACE: The good news is that in our area of the country we were able to finally get back in the classrooms in person to finish up our last school year before this summer started.
But, one of my teachers completely ignored me and called on other students when she could clearly see that my hand was raised. I just finished seventh grade and now this September I’ll be starting the eighth grade. This teacher also teaches many eighth-grade subjects, so I might have this very same problem again this fall if I end up in one or more of her classes. Is it okay to call her out about this at the beginning of next year if I get her again? — Overlooked and Ignored Student, via email
OVERLOOKED AND IGNORED STUDENT: There are a few possible reasons I can think of as to why your teacher often called on other students instead of you this past school year.
No. 1. Your teacher may be calling on students who look like they’re not paying attention.
No. 2. Your teacher is just making sure everyone has an equal chance to participate.
No. 3. You might have a reputation for making comments or asking questions that do not contribute to the discussion or which go beyond the specific subject matter that she wishes to focus on.
Regardless of what your teacher’s reason is for not calling upon you when you have your hand raised, it would not be good for you to be rude to your teacher. Instead of calling your teacher out, take the time to politely visit your teachers after school and ask them for the best way for you to contribute to the discussions so that you’ll get your chances to speak, but such that you’ll also understand the reasons you can’t be called upon as much as you would prefer. I trust your teachers will absolutely be willing to have an open discussion on this topic. I know that when I was a teacher back in my day, I truly enjoyed student participation and interaction when delivering course content. Student participation during class discussions are a great part of the learning process, so do keep contributing! Just do so in the most compatible way for your classrooms.
MUST I CALL HER ‘MOM?’
DR. WALLACE: My father just got remarried, and my new stepmom has now demanded that I call her “mom” or “mother” around their house. But to me, I already have a mom, so it makes me feel uncomfortable to call this new lady the same name I call my birth mother. I do understand that things have changed, and I don’t want to cause any problems when I visit my dad, so what should I do? — Now a Stepdaughter, via email
NOW A STEPDAUGHTER: Have a discussion with your father and ask him what you should call his new wife. Do mention during this discussion that his new wife did ask you to call her mom.
Let your dad know that you are a bit uncomfortable with this and see what his reaction is. I see two potential outcomes here. First, he could speak with his wife and they might mutually agree you can call her by her first name. Second, they may indeed wish for you to call her mom. If the first outcome comes to be, your issue is solved. If the second outcome is their preference, I’d suggest you simply accept it. You are not living in their home, so you will only see this lady from time to time anyway. Think of it this way, many children have two grandfathers and/or two grandmothers and those relatives might each be called “grandma” or “grandpa,” for example.
Finally, if you’d like to set your own mother apart, you could call her a special nickname you add to the word “mom.” Teens are often very creative, so I trust if you wish to call your own mother something a tad different than your father’s new wife, you’ll come up with a way to do it!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
