DR. WALLACE: Help! I really love my boyfriend, but his feet creep me out in a very big way! I know this sounds trivial and shallow, but to be fair, I’m honestly grossed out by feet in general and my boyfriend’s toes are especially large and hairy. Yikes! His feet could easily be attached to an animal or two at our local zoo and nobody would be the wiser.
I can’t get over how strange they look! It’s usually not an issue that comes up in our daily relationship because we obviously both wear shoes when we go out together, but whenever we spend time at his house and he takes his shoes off, I just can’t stop thinking about how I wished they looked more normal.
Everything else about him is great, so how do I get over this one physical flaw that my mind is hyper-focusing on for some reason? — Freaked Out by Feet, via email
FREAKED OUT BY FEET: You have a decision to make! At some point, to remain comfortable in the relationship, you need to let this physical situation regarding his feet go. Perhaps you can train yourself to avoid staring at them and instead focus on his other physical features you enjoy, and especially train yourself to think carefully about his personality and why you like him so much overall in the first place.
Next, think about your own physical features. We are often our own harshest critics, so think of the top one or two of your physical features that you don’t like about yourself and your body. Then think about how he has never said a word about them and how much he cares for you despite them. This may help you to spin the perspective so that you realize that beauty (and a less-than-perfect feature!) is only skin deep.
Finally, realize that he did choose to have the feet he has. He was dealt them via the genetic mix his DNA dictated and he will not be able to trade them in for a new pair any time soon. Many humans have birthmarks, missing limbs, fingers, hands, ears and so forth. They are all valuable, wonderful people who wish to be known and understood for their minds and hearts more than for their physical bodies. You have it easy with your boyfriend compared to these examples, so make up your mind right now to move past this particular issue — both for your own benefit and for that of your relationship.
WHICH SHOULD I CHOOSE?
DR. WALLACE: I’m 14 and my pet hamster just passed away. I cried a lot because I loved her and I had her for almost two years. Back when I got her I actually wanted a rabbit, a cat or a dog, but my parents said I was not ready for those kinds of pets.
Now that I’m 14 my mom said I’m old enough to properly care for a cat or a dog, as long as the dog is not too big! She said any cat is fine but if I want a dog, it should weigh 50 pounds or less when it becomes fully grown.
Do you feel a cat or a dog is a better pet for a 14-year-old girl? I should also mention that I’m an only child, so I will be the person taking care of the pet for the most part. My dad and mom both said they would help a little, but that it would be up to me to do most of the work. Which should I choose? — Ready for a New Pet, via email
READY FOR A NEW PET: Both of these common household pets are wonderful in their own right. Dogs are generally more loyal and interactive with human beings than cats are. But dogs also involve more work since they need to be bathed and walked outside for bathroom breaks and exercise.
Cats, on the other hand, are definitely more independent. They handle their own business in the bathroom department, and you will only need to change a litter box regularly if you select a cat. Cats also bathe themselves and they don’t often like to be taken for a ride in the family car. Your dog, if you select one, will likely jump at the chance to travel in your family’s car for visits to the park or even to go on an outdoor vacation.
So, think carefully in advance about how things would go in your home with each type of pet. Imagine yourself with these pets and their associated responsibilities. You can’t go wrong with either; in the end it’s a personal choice. I will give you some advice, however. Obtain your new pet at your local animal shelter. There are many wonderful animals there in need of a new, loving home.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
