Dear Annie: We recently attended a family wedding. The invitation said the wedding was at 2 p.m., with a reception and dancing at 7:30. After the ceremony, we sat in the hotel bar with a dozen other family members, all of whom had driven over three hours to attend.
We soon learned that there were two invitations — one of which was for a dinner, in the same building, right across the hall from the bar I was sitting in. There were 150 guests at the dinner. Various family members came into the bar and apologized frequently. One even commented, “I bet you’re hungry. There was so much food.” At one point, the bride’s mother walked into the bar, saw us, and promptly turned around and walked out.
The bride’s grandmother blamed the groom’s mother. We were all unaware of any conflict between the families. We were shocked, humiliated and very hurt. We felt like second-class guests.
Etiquette is simply displaying thoughtfulness and consideration for others. You don’t have to include everyone, but you shouldn’t go out of your way to be rude. Annie, are we making too big a deal about this? — Relatives for a Giveaway
Dear Relatives: Not at all. It is inconsiderate to have a dinner where only some of the guests are invited, especially when those excluded are sure to hear about or even see it. Also, relatives who come from out of town should be included in everything.
Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old female with a serious dilemma. Three years ago, my parents divorced because my mom cheated on my father. I knew for two years that Mom was cheating, and I never said a word to anyone until she came out and confessed. Then she asked why I didn’t speak up sooner.
After the divorce, Mom sank into a deep depression, and all the mutual friends my parents had together abandoned her. During this time, I acted as a true friend to her. Then she met “Frank.” She developed this better-than-everyone attitude and left me out in the dust, along with the rest of those who supported her.
Mom married Frank last week, and she already is cheating on him with my dad. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but I feel I should tell Frank what’s going on because this is her second offense, and what’s fair is fair. After all, she did ask the first time why I didn’t open my mouth. What do you think? — Abandoned Daughter in Massachusetts
Dear Abandoned: We think you are holding a justifiable grudge against your mother, but even though her record is hardly pristine, it won’t help to rat her out. Mom’s behavior is messy and erratic, and it sounds as if she could use some counseling. The more involved you are in her love life, the worse it will be for you. Do yourself a favor and stay out of it completely.
Dear Annie: I’m 16 years old, and I have an embarrassing problem. For some reason, one of my breasts is bigger than the other, and it’s noticeable. The difference is probably a whole cup size. With certain clothes, you definitely can see, and it’s hard to find a bra that fits right.
It also lowers my self-esteem because I feel like everyone can tell. I could really use some advice. Thank you. — Embarrassed in Ohio
Dear Ohio: Uneven breasts are not that unusual, and they are not as noticeable as you think. If it’s any consolation, it’s possible the smaller breast will catch up with the larger one by the time you are finished growing. In the meantime, find a bra that fits the larger breast, and use some padding to even out the other side. If you go to a lingerie shop or the lingerie section of a good department store, the salesclerk can help you find something appropriate. Don’t be embarrassed. They’ve seen it all.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
