Dear Annie: At a family gathering two years ago, my in-laws’ dog attempted to bite my then 2-year-old daughter. “Fido” is a large dog and could have done considerable damage had he actually gotten hold of her. This all took place during a very busy party where many people not only saw but heard the incident.
The next time we visited my in-laws, we asked if they could please put Fido outside. They were extremely offended, stating we were blowing things out of proportion, but they reluctantly agreed — until we got there. Then Fido was let back in. When we objected, they responded as if my husband and I were asking them to put the dog to sleep. Since then, we rarely visit their home, instead inviting them to ours, and relations have become quite strained.
My daughter is not afraid of dogs, but she has not forgotten what this dog did to her. We have taught her appropriate ways to approach any dog and to stay away from a dog she does not know. Are we wrong to ask that they tie Fido outside or, as they suggest, should we just “get over it”? — Once Bitten, Twice Shy in New York
Dear Once Bitten: Your in-laws are being careless with your daughter’s safety. Did your daughter provoke an otherwise-gentle dog? If so, you might want to give Fido another chance, as long as you are watching carefully. However, if Fido tried to bite her without provocation, you are absolutely correct to keep her away until she is older and larger. If your in-laws don’t like it, too bad.
Dear Annie: I recently became engaged to an incredible man, and I know we will have a beautiful and amazing life together. This will be my first marriage and “Peter’s” second.
The day after Peter proposed, he told me he would like to wear the same wedding band from his first marriage. I was horrified. Peter explained that he had selected, designed and paid for the wedding band himself and was still quite fond of it. I’m not sure if this is trivial or has serious implications for our future. I always thought a wedding band symbolizes the bond between husband and wife. After seeing my reaction, Peter relented and backed down.
What exactly is the protocol involving wedding rings once a couple divorces? For the most part, Peter speaks negatively of his first marriage, and I have no doubt that he is 100 percent devoted to me. Am I overreacting? — Honolulu
Dear Honolulu: Many divorcees have their wedding bands reconfigured into a different piece of jewelry. If Peter designed the ring, it makes sense that he would want to wear it, and no, we don’t think it carries any additional significance. Ask if he’d be willing to redesign it to better reflect his new circumstances.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the woman who said the phones stopped ringing after her husband’s funeral. I’ll give you a reason why.
In the past year, two women in our church have become widowed. Whenever they are with us, all they talk about is themselves, how lonely they are, etc. One of them actually told me, “I feel sad, and that’s all I’m going to talk about.”
Friends who care enough to include widows in their plans do so to provide fellowship and a temporary escape from the daily pain. If the conversation focuses solely on their loss, the purpose of the gathering changes totally. I am more than glad to be a sympathetic supporter, but it is not realistic to expect regular invitations if every conversation is centered on pain and suffering. — Had Enough Sadness
Dear Had Enough: It is difficult to repeatedly spend time with those who obsess about their misery. Widows (and widowers) who use their friends solely as grief counselors run the risk of becoming a burden. Those who do who do who could benefit from some professional help.
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
