Dear Annie: I have been dating “Kelsey” for four months. Everything about her is great. She is very attractive, she is a professional, she has an amazing sense of humor, and she really has her life together. She is everything I am looking for in a girlfriend. If we are not physically together, we are emailing, text messaging or on the phone. Since the day we met, we’ve spent part of every single day with each other.
Kelsey does many nice things for me, even romantic things like leaving roses for me on my car “just because.” We have a lot in common, and I find her to be a perfect mate. She has told me she feels the same about me.
Here’s the issue I cannot figure out. Kelsey is not affectionate at all, even when we are alone. We have yet to hug or kiss. I have talked to her about this numerous times, explaining that being physically affectionate is important in a relationship, and she agrees, but still, nothing.
We have never spoken about this in person, only by email or text. She is uncomfortable talking about such issues in person. I have a hard time even getting her to look at me when we talk. She tells me I have to “make the move” on her first because she is shy. I have tried, but she doesn’t make it easy for me. If I wait for her to take the initiative, I will be waiting a lifetime.
I really like Kelsey a lot, but I don’t know if I can be involved with someone who won’t even kiss me. It’s frustrating. What more can I do? — Frustrated Guy
Dear Frustrated: We’re assuming Kelsey isn’t gay and that she isn’t affectionate with anyone else. That means she truly is terribly shy, has issues relating to people or may even have been abused in a previous relationship. Since she is so wonderful otherwise, please make the effort to break through her shell. Start with a soft peck on her cheek or forehead, along with a gentle caressing of her hair. At your next meeting, you can try adding a short hug. If she objects or jerks away, we’re afraid you aren’t going to make any progress without some professional intervention.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from the woman whose son was dared to stop wearing underwear. I don’t know what taboo is broken when a woman “goes commando,” but for some reason, it is not OK for us.
I am a 40-year-old female who hates to wear underwear. I’ve tried expensive, cheap, cotton, silk, briefs, bikinis, thongs, boy cut, etc. I have gone commando since I was in my teens. I have underwear. I wear it when I have to, but otherwise, you couldn’t pay me to put it on.
Of course, aside from some very close friends and my husband, no one knows. It is just unthinkable. So, I have to be a “closet commando.” It isn’t just the guys who like to be free, it’s also the women, but we have to do it “undercover.” — Closet Commanda
Dear Closet: We suspect there are quite a few females who go around without skivvies, but we don’t need that information. Here’s another letter on the subject:
Dear Annie: I have to throw in my two cents. I first went commando in high school and have never looked back. As a member of the military, believe me, it is more comfortable.
However, my main point is this: With today’s high school scene, “Mom in Colorado” needs to be more worried about her son being dared to do drugs or drink and drive, and less about the perceived hygienic implications of sweaty pants with no underwear. I recommend she talk to her kid about how drugs and stupidity can ruin his life, rather than fussing because she has no smelly underwear to wash. — Battle Major in Iraq
“Annie’s Mailbox” is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. This column was originally published in 2016. To find out more about Classic Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.
