DR. WALLACE: I’m 16 and would like to ask you a question about how you feel teenagers are viewed by society these days. It seems to me that my age group always seems to get a bad rap as being a self-centered, myopic and indulgent generation.
I certainly don’t see things that way at all, and since you supposedly have a lot of experience dealing with young people over many decades, I’m interested in your opinion about today’s teenagers. Specifically, are today’s teenagers better members of society then teens in previous generations, are we basically the same or are we worse and if so, in which ways? — Teens Rule! via email
TEENS RULE!: You might have expected me to come down on today’s version of teenagers, but I don’t see things that way at all. Teens have certainly evolved over the years, but their evolution has basically mirrored the evolution of the society around them.
I’ll also mention that for every teenager who makes the local or national news in a bad way, there are literally hundreds of other stories about other teenagers doing great things that often go unnoticed and unpublicized. Yes, horrific car accidents or terrible drug overdose stories provide salacious news coverage, but quietly, behind the scenes, many teenagers do great volunteer work in their local communities.
Few people know or would guess that teenagers are the ones who do about 30% of all volunteer work that goes on in this nation! They regularly take on extracurricular activities, often sponsored by their schools and assist with tasks varying from assisting elderly and handicapped citizens to doing work to help protect the environment in various ways, including promoting recycling and taking on public land and beach cleanup days.
What’s best to me is that today’s teens truly enjoy and value volunteer work. They work well in groups and motivate and encourage each other to press on to make a difference in the world they will inherit. I must say their environmental and social governance values greatly exceed those of previous generations by a long shot. Yes, they’ve benefited in this regard and received a big boost in awareness via social media, which did not exist decades ago, but their zeal and follow-through grant them high marks in my book.
In short, I’d say that today’s teenagers more than hold their own in comparison to teenagers from days gone by. It’s always hard to create a true and equal way to evaluate and compare different eras, but today’s teens such as yourself deserve respect and gratitude for the way you look at our ever-evolving world.
SHE CUT ME OFF
DR. WALLACE: I’m a 13-year-old girl who just had a pretty bad experience. A girl who I thought was my best friend is now no longer speaking to me. We got into a major argument at school recently about some rumors that were being spread by other students. These rumors are absolutely untrue, and I explained this thoroughly to my friend.
I thought for sure she would listen to my reasoning, but she instead lashed out at me. We ended up yelling at each other and then walking away from each other.
After about 10 days went by, I stopped by her house after school and knocked on her door. She answered the door but told me that she didn’t want to talk to me. I said to her that I was sorry that we both said nasty things to each other, and that I felt that we both overreacted in the heat of the moment. I told her our friendship deserved a fresh start whenever she felt comfortable. She just looked at me, made a face, and slowly closed the door.
When I got home, I cried in my room for about 10 minutes until my mother heard me and came into my room. I explained to my mom what had happened, and she told me to just ignore this girl going forward. Is my mom right about this? — Not a Best Friend Anymore, via email
NOT A BEST FRIEND ANYMORE: I feel you did a very mature and brave thing to visit this girl’s house and offer to begin your friendship anew with a fresh start. You have now made a move that definitely communicated you were willing to put the past situation behind you and once again be her friend. Now, the rehabilitation of your friendship is entirely up to her.
I suggest you spend time with other friends and other young ladies you enjoy speaking to at your school. When you do mention your former best friend, speak nicely about her and mention how sad you feel that the two of you were pulled into strife over unfounded rumors. Continue to speak well about your former friend but go on with your life as if nothing important happened, since unfounded rumors shouldn’t matter to anyone anyway.
You may or may not find that your former friend eventually reaches out to you directly or through a third party. If and when that happens, you might be able to resume friendly relations with her. And if this never happens, take this situation as a learning experience about the dangers of entering into arguments and name-calling with good friends in the future.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]stgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
